In the simplest terms abuse is an ongoing series of actions with the sole purpose of one persons attempts to coerce and control their spouse, whereas a conflict is when 2 people equally try to convince the other about submitting to their view.
That means that in any case where there is physical violence, sexual abuse or adultery present the dynamic of the relationship is abusive.
In other cases there is a call for caution as the behaviour may be abusive but not with the purpose of control over others, but can stem from a conflict or poor communication, the caution is 2 ways, for one we don´t want to label someone abusive if in fact there is a conflict between the spouses, nor do we want to brush it off as a conflict if it is in fact abuse.
Each of those situations carries their own consequences for the people involved, therefore we from CADA always recommend to contact counsellors or ministers who are trained in understanding the difference and act accordingly, we also always recommend marital counselling to start with 1on1 meetings to give each spouse the opportunity to speak freely and the minister a chance to evaluate which help to offer for each and both as a couple.
Am I being abused??
This can be one of the hardest questions to answer when you are in the situation, caught up in contradicting feelings and not really understanding why this is happening.
Whenever there is physical violence or threats of physical violence, the relationship is abusive. It doesnt matter what the circumstances was that lead to the violence once that line is crossed your marriage is abusive.
When there is no physical violence it can be harder to determine if you are in an abusive relationship or if it is more of a conflict. Here are some of the indicators that your marriage may be abusive....
These are just some of the indicators and each situation is unique to itself.
It´s normal to feel alone, but you are not alone, we are waiting to listen and support you in creating a change.
If you are in doubt about if your marriage is abusive or you have decided to get a change contact us today.